Yo, Carlsaurus Rex here, to set it straight. That Jusrassic Park is bullshit. Of course, if you read your History book, you would know that Genesis 1:26 clearly states that Adam had dominion over all animals, and none of those animals were “dinosaurs.” I mean, it’s right there on paper.

Now, I think movies about fake stuff are cool...like when they make animals talk and stuff. I saw Garfield on HBO Family the other night and, man, that is one funny cat. But these were no talking dinosaurs, these fake animals were big and mean, and if they talked, they would probably just talk a bunch of dumb lies anyway. Come to think of it, the PEOPLE in the movie were all heathens too. Like that fat guy from Seinfeld- he was lying the whole time. And when he was carrying that DMA stuff around in the shaving cream can and it was raining and he crashed his jeep into a tree and then slipped in the mud and that one dinosaur whistled at him and spit black stuff on his face and then ate him...that shit wasn’t real either. How can you hide DMA in a mosquito anyway? They ain’t even big enough to see and they’re saying there is DMA in them too? No way. No fucking way. So anyway, there are some good movies out there now, like War of the Worlds, R. Kelly and the Chocolate Factory, and The Dukes of Hazard...movies about real stuff, ya know. I’m not sure if they have talking animals in them, but I’m willing to find out on my next off-day. Til next time, keep it real, peeps...and don’t let the man bring you down.