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HE GONE
This website is dedicated to the removal of White Sox television broadcaster Ken "Hawk" Harrelson. Mr. Harrelson's unique blend of non-standard English and ego-maniacal blather has made the mute button a must for Sox T.V. viewers during the last three decades.
"Argentina right now is....not a good place to go, according to some people from South Carolina."
- Ken "Hawk" Harrelson
"Alls it takes is to keep on doin' what he's been doin'"
- Darrin Jackson
april 23, 2011 10:15pm
Classic Non-HR, HR Call
Hello again, friends. It's Hawk season... a special, special part of the calendar year. A time of the season that is bittersweet. But it is here, at heavethehawk.com, where we can share our grief together. A stranger told me recently he would die for my "Hawk-Heaving sins." I held back tears, and said, simply, "child, go forth, for the Hawk one day will be but dust."
"Dad Gummit {sic}" (Hawk)
august 24, 2010 08:06pm
Hawk Looking More Like A Muppet
Chicago, IL - The Hawk's haggard appearance of late prompted White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski to note that, "Hawk looks more and more like a Muppet each day." The 68 year-old Harrelson, who regularly draws the ire of White Sox players when he wanders into the clubhouse in search of "stray beers," has not impressed recently.
"He comes in here the other day and has the nerve to offer up hitting advice," said youngster Brent Lillibridge, obviously underwhelmed by Harrelson's .239 career average.
What is impressive, according to manager Ozzie Guillen, is Hawk's beer consumption. "He godda gooo buzzz on de odder day, dat crazy ol' Naco." However, players have grown tired of Hawk rummaging through the fridge while yelling, "don't stop now, boys."
Sources report that pitcher Bobby Jenks balled up a Burger King wrapper and threw it at Hawk as he turned around the other day. Jenks was questioned by the aging announcer, and replied, "I don't know what you're talking about, jerk-off. You look like a Muppet." Jenks then iced his arm heavily.
august 06, 2010 10:09pm
"I was golfing with Mickey Mantle..."
Bullshit.
