Heave the Hawk

september 19, 2009 07:11am

Sox Move Hawk to Concessions

0909Hawk_MillerLite.gif

Chicago, IL- In what may be known as the best move he has ever made, Sox GM Kenny Williams announced that Hawk Harrelson will be relegated to beer duty next season.

"Regular folks, including partner Steve Stone, have just had enough of Hawk's silliness. I think Miller Lite vendor is the perfect fit for Ken. He can still engage in douchebaggery, you know... nonsensical ramblings, twangy catch phrases, but the entire viewing audience will not have to endure it."

Williams went on to say that Harrelson's primary post will be section 121, near first base.

"This section is notorious for attracting White Trash...like those guys that beat up the Royals first base coach. These are the sort of people that appreciate Hawk."

"Miller Lite" (Hawk Harrelson)

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